Friday, February 13, 2009

CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF FAMILY VALUES LIVE IN AMERICA

Many people have noted the deterioration of the classic American family over the past few decades. It is now just as common for a child to grow up in a single parent home or in a blended family.

Recently I have wondered if there is an inherent idea as to what a family should be like. This also has caused me to consider if the family roles have an inherent nature that is recognized among all people.

Example #1: You will hear many people say, "he is like a brother to me." The person who said this could have no brother, or their brother may be completely out of their life. However, there is something that is defined about the brother role as someone you can be close with that resonates with all people.

Example #2: I recently heard a adolescent girl without a father in the home refer to an older male in the therapy group as the group's "dad." She meant this (under my interpretation) as someone who was protective of the group and shared wisdom from life experiences. So, even though her dad was not present, somehow she is familiar with (and appreciative of) the role of a father in a family.

Example #3: Corporate America. How many times have you heard a company say we are "like a family here" in reference to an open good work environment? It seems almost cliche. Do you think they mean a place where the members abuse one another? Ignore one another? Say mean things to one another? I am not an expert when it comes to the business world, but I think they are trying to convey a safe, inviting, loving environment.

Before I conclude I would like to state that classic American family life is not what I accept as the only or necessarily the best option of upbringing. It does have it merits, though.

My conclusion is that appropriate family life is not a concept that is lost, undesired or misunderstood. Rather, the breakdown comes in a lack of focus on preserving family life in its appropriate setting. It is unfortunate that the family paradigm must be used in other places rather than the actual family.

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